Saturday 8 December 2018

Good for the Gander, Good for the Goose

"Dear, what is this? What is all this nonsense that I am seeing?"

Folu was shaking as much as the phone she was waving in her husband's face, the streams of salty tears that tracked down her rotund cheeks were almost as blinding as her fury.
"This woman, what is it again?" Her husband, referred to as Otunba by herself and everyone else, looked up from the file he had been perusing; irritated.

"What is it this time? This is what it is this time." She shoved the phone at him. A video was playing on the screen. It was the video of a girl ranting, calling out a friend for trying to snatch her Sugar Daddy whom she repeatedly identified by name - Otunba Dayo Dunro. She also pictures to back up her allegations, pictures of the two together on a trip.

"This has been all over the blogs; all my friends and family members have been sending it to me. You this man, you just want to keep disgracing and making a fool of me." Folu was wailing full force now. "What don't I do to keep you happy. You complained about my tummy, I lost weight..."

"Lost weight, abi you did surgery... Look, Folu," Otunba went from English to speaking Yoruba. "You better give yourself rest of mind. I am a man and I can do whatever I like. You are lucky you have a husband who will never take a second wife, yet you want to be complaining about  things like this."

He gave a small hiss, picked up his file and left the room.

Folu waited five minutes, then wiped her eyes. The tears had stung so much because she had induced them by spraying some perfume directly into both eyes before coming in to accuse her husband.

She picked up her phone again and called her closest friend.

"Yetty, I did exactly as you said. Now he's stormed out as expected."

"That's good. You know these men, they start being suspicious when their wives do not display jealousy, and you don't want any suspicion coming your way," her friend's husky voice responded.

Folu acquiesced, "You are just too smart, and me too, I am a good student. You should have seen the act I put up. He bought it hook, line and sinker. To think the idiot can actually believe that I still care about his waywardness after all these years."

Both women laughed derisively. Then Yetty moved on to more important things. "So, I have good news. Those boys have gotten their visas and done their flight bookings. They would be with us in Paris for the weekend."

"Ore mi, that is really good news. I can't wait."

There were a few more exchanges before the call ended. Folu laid back into the cushy softness of her bed, a delighted smile lingering around her lips. "Otunba, you just keep doing what you like in the open; while I keep doing mine in hiding. What is good for the goose, is good for the gander... and vice versa." 

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