Sunday, 25 November 2018

I No Be Gigolo, Na Guyman I Be


As country hard, na so all man eye just dey chook anyhow, dey find way to make am for life. Me self I no dey excluded; as a correct guy man, my hustle dey always dey very strong. I dey always sniff out and dey at alert for opportunities to make quick cash, in addition to my normal hustle as a website developer. But no get me wrong, I no dey near things like Yahoo or scam, as I no wan carry curse for my head. 

So as a hustling Gee wey I be, I happy wella when I mistakenly jam one hanty wey I know for area for one bar like that, and she yarn me say she get business opportunity for me. The talk start with her asking me wetin I dey do. I tell am say website development, but come add say I dey always open to new ways of making money, as long as e dey legal. Na him the hanty come yarn me say she get something wey I fit do and I no go ever regret am if I do am, say the thing go pay me wella.

Her words sweet my mind no be small. As she say money go dey the thing, then money go definitely dey am. I don know the hanty for area no be today, she be very big girl – business woman wey get many boutiques for Lagos, and she dey ride badass cars.

I respond eagerly, “Ma you won’t regret giving me a chance. I am a very diligent person and also a quick thinker. Please tell me more about what you have in mind. I can’t wait to start already.”

To my surprise, the hanty change seat come sit very close to me, dey smile seductively, come even lick lips join. I come dey wonder: What is going on here? This suppose be business conversation na.

She come tell me wetin shock me die o. “Ken, do you know you are my specs? I like slim, tall and dark guys like you. I have been seeing you every now and again in the neighborhood and I’ve been admiring you. That was why I was happy our paths crossed here tonight and took the opportunity to talk to you.”

Ah, wetin this hanty dey get to? Me her specs as how?

Next thing she start to stroke my hand on top table o.

She come come out straight, “All I want is for us to start dating. And I will make it really worth your while cash-wise.”

Make una come see how I start to dey stammer. My hand, the one wey she dey caress, start to dey shake sef. “But m-ma, you yyou are married...”

“Don’t bother yourself about that, Ken. Just do what I want and say goodbye to this your life of struggles forever.”

I no go lie, the hanty fine sha, and she gather well. Her breast just full everywhere like two big yellow pawpaw, and the gown wey she wear just expose her cleavage wella. To dey service this kind woman and cash out in the process dey tempting, but...

“I'm sorry ma, I can’t do it. What you are saying sounds like me being your gigolo, and I can’t do that. It is not dignifying."

The hanty shock for this my response, but before she go say any other thing, before she and devil go join hand confuse and convince me, na so I stand up, pick race.

I like money and I dey find am badly, but not bad enough to do that kind yamayama thing, abeg. Na guyman I be, I no be gigolo.


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