Sunday, 2 September 2018

Mind Your Business

Sule was shocked when he saw his landlord’s wife and a strange man going into her apartment.

“No be Landlord wife I see wey carry man enter house so? Kai! Women wicked o. Na because her husband travel abi?” he mused to himself. “Imagine make house wife dey carry man come house this kind hot afternoon wey everywhere quiet like this. And I must expose am.”

He quickly picked up his phone, tapped open his camera and gingerly made for the Landlord’s window. He peeped in, trying to catch sight of the two that had gone in and hoping he would be able to see well enough to get some good incriminating pictures.

“Na everybody for this compound and internet go hear wetin landlord wife cook before house burn,” he whispered excitedly to himself.

He pressed his face to the mosquito net on the window, getting some layer of dust on his face, but not minding. He could see the outline of the two, and as his eyes adjusted better, he saw that the landlord’s wife was on her knees in front of the man she had taken in.

His jaw dropped. “BJ things?”

The excitement and joy at what he had stumbled upon was bursting his brain. He raised up his phone to start taking pictures… and a slap landed at the back of his newly shaved head, sounding louder than a tire blowout and almost shutting his brain down. He turned around, dazed, to see a man standing behind him.

“You wan call police abi? Oya, you sef enter inside.”

And even if he was stupid enough to try and protest after that slap, the gun he saw in the man’s hand gave him ‘brain’.

He allowed himself to be led into the landlord’s apartment, where the landlord’s wife was still kneeling on the floor. He saw, at that moment, that the man with her was not waving a bodily organ in her face as he had thought, but a gun. On the table before him was some cash, phone and a pile of jewelry.”

“I catch this one dey look from window, he wan call police,” the man who had ordered Sule in declared.

Ehen, he good as he use him own leg waka come meet us, na to obtain am join this woman be that,” the other man responded. With that, both men descended on Sule with more brain-editing slaps, then proceeded to rid him of his phone, money and wrist watch.

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